my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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