I seem to have left my pride at pride
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
