so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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