This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
