butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
