Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
