I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
