yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
