ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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