she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
