ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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