So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
