its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize