We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
