I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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