Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
