I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
