So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
