the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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