so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
