i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
