He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do vagina's smell?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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