Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
