Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
