i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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