I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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