Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
