I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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