Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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