The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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