see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
