Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
bring money and cleavage
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
