Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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