I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
