Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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