So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize