Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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