Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
