We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize