Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
