I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
