just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
