and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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