He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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