no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
