suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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