yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
