i just google imaged poop.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
