I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
