i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
