As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
