after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
