Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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