is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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