dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the day after is always just damage control
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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