I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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