I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she told me i tasted like america
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
