Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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