4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize