I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
