I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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